I’m Kierra, a 23 year old Londoner… I have no savings, never traveled and still get shy talking to boys, and “i’m about to start my own business!” I tell my family, smiling ear to ear, baby teeth on show. They all politely smile, (how British of them) I pause for a second, like, what’s the problem? Everyone who knows me knows I’m a hard worker. I’ve worked full time since the age of 16. I’ve had a successful 5 year career as a visual merchandiser, doing window displays and in-store installs all over London, including hotspot department store Selfridges. Oohh la la, bragging rights? I think so.
In fact that was my last job, I was part of their home visual merchandising team, great experience but… well, lets just say it didn’t work out. So there I was, walking into the dreaded job seekers office. Being greeted by someone who assumes you’re a lazy unambitious individual taking the easy road. I try to show how much of a go getter I am, really… I am. Only to be left feeling miserable, but mostly embarrassed.
The first weeks of being unemployed were not too bad. I remained positive, plus I had money in the bank so I was doing OK. I spent hours a day applying for jobs, confident it was going to be a walk in the park, because if you want something bad, you get it right? Wrong. I forgot this is London, another overcrowded and ultra competitive city. Don’t get me wrong, this city is amazing, but you have to hustle to get to the top. Very quickly money ran out and depression kicked in, and I mean really bad.
Depression has always been something I have struggled with and probably always will, but this was out of control. I stayed in my house for weeks, I wasn’t eating, I ended up in hospital before being put on anti depressants. This was all between December 2013-February 2014. Two months of complete hell. I began to get too scared to even want to go into work. Selfridges was like a scene out of ugly Betty...and I was Betty, my confidence was completely DESTROYED. Growing up I had a pretty hard childhood, i’ll talk about that another time. But it defiantly caused me to lack in basic social skills. I had worked years to improve myself, and I was doing perfectly fine. However after my overwhelming experience in my last job, I felt like that awkward 15 year old all over again.
So anyway, I knew I wasn’t able to go through the whole interview process again, and work in a massive team. I just wasn’t ready, I would need to work on my confidence, and fast. I had been working on my career for five years, and was making almost the same amount I made as a customer assistant even though my workload had tripled and hours doubled. I have always been creative, ideas and using my hands is second nature to me. My dreams are mixtures of art, music, color and craziness. I can’t let all this talent go to waste, something had to be done.
At this point I decided…I’m going to follow my dream. Owning my own home ware business has been something I have wanted for years. But in particular, wallpaper, all hand printed. I’ve laid in bed dreaming of seeing my products in best selling home and lifestyle magazines. I didn’t just dive right into this idea though, I’m a Capricorn, both creative yet practical. I cannot tell you the hours I put into research before I walked into that job seekers office, head held high and said. “I would like to start my own business.” I knew exactly what I wanted to do, and how I wanted to do it. It was just like a movie scene, where two enemies suddenly have a bonding moment. After telling my adviser my plans the look on her face…classic. She believed in me as much as I did.
So after planning, meetings, research, reh reh reh… it brings me to the announcement of my business plans. At the time my families reaction did confuse me because like I said, I am a hard worker. But two things I have realized is one; I am not a big talker. My family have no clue I suffer from depression, or why I was even out of work in the first place. I wouldn’t describe myself as secretive, I just don’t like pity. And two, I believe western society has forced us to have this misconception of the “correct” path we should take in life. Go to school, college, maybe university…get a job, climb the ladder, get married, kids, retire, die.
The minute you choose to take a risk and go off the path, negativity and doubt will always hit you before anything positive. It doesn’t mean you are not loved, or that people don’t believe in you. But we are all products of our environment and consciously or subconsciously we are all influenced and manipulated into having certain opinions about things.
I read a quote on instagram by Charles Bukowski saying… ‘How in the hell could one person enjoy being awakened at 6.30 by an alarm clock, leap out of bed, dress, force-feed, shit, piss, brush teeth and hair, and fight traffic to get to a place where essentially you made lots of money for somebody else and were asked to be grateful for the opportunity to do so?’ I laughed reading this because it’s so true, were all so brainwashed we don’t even realise how ridiculous the “correct” path to take in life really is…
From my experience so far the best advice I can give you is don’t worry about the negative reactions you WILL receive when you decide to start your own business, even more so if you’re still young. You are not the one that’s crazy, they are; to think that it’s better to be another sheep in society. The less people you tell the better, I believe in the power of energy and choose to block as much negative energies as possible. I’ll wrap this up with one last quote that someone told me… ‘When we lay on our death beds, we regret the things in life we didn’t do, more than the things we did’
Starting a business is not for everyone, but if you think you can do it, then go for it.
This is my story so far.
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